Email - Humor

"Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little which made him rather frail and, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him..(Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good).. a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis. "

Nice Weekend, Eh?

Well I've been going through a catharsis and guess what cures best?

Mission Impossible 3
Da Vinci Code
Dirty Dancing
The Inside Man
Three to Tango
Anger Management
How High;)

"My girlfriend is gettin married tomorrow" said the dreamer

What is rebel? A man who says no.

In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer.

Well, isn't there supposed to be a good bye , when something new begins, shouldnt the old be done away with.

But what of the incompleteness, the hollowness, of not dreaming because the reality is in stark contrast.

Over to Gibran:

"Love has no other desire but to fulfil itself.

But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:

To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.

To know the pain of too much tenderness.

To be wounded by your own understanding of love;

And to bleed willingly and joyfully.

To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;

To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy;

To return home at eventide with gratitude;

And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips."

And, I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bear my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.

Goodbye, Godspeed, Goodspeed, GodSpent.

Indyeah!

I looved this Bharatbala producution, so I thought id put it here: Enjoi

Dhanaulti Rocks 2005

My most memorable trip: hmm.. as I ponder to reveal, it would be unfair to call just one of them the most memorable.
I've been struck by wanderlust as long as I can recall, but I will describe a trip last winter into the middle of the Himalayas as the fondest ever.

Only three words describe the trip: Indian WoodStock '05

Dhanaulti is a small sleepy town, in the middle of nowhere and about 35 kilometers from the nearest signs of civilization, that is Mussorie. And it played host to the first of its kind Indian music festival- Dhanaulti Rocks 2005

Picture this:
Untouched Mountains
18 Indian music Bands
Three days of music
The best Sound(Marshall)
A mosh pit
A hotel which has never had electricity(not kidding, electricity had not reached it)

Oh yes, and I lived through it all, all extremes.

It all started with a newspaper clipping, billing this as the biggest music event ever. I scorned at it. It just was too good to be true.

But research followed, and a visits to Andijis.com and backing by Parikrama(parikrama.com) and names like Cassini's Division, Advaita, Nakshatra, Prestorika, Indian ocean, Pin Drop Violence, and I was hooked.

Well, all that followed was pure bliss. Packed my bag, put two fellow rockers into the car and headed from Chandigarh into the unknown serpentine roads to Dhanaulti (using only the instructions available at the site). We still didn’t know if there was any town like that.:))

Six hours of sheer driving pleasure, a magnificent sunset, homage at Paonta Sahib Gurudwara, amazing Dhaba Bread Pakoras and we hit Mussorie. Little did we know that the diversion to Dhanaulti was four kilometres before mussorie. So we turned back and entered what I would describe as the most amazing 30 kilometers of flattened non tarmac level land (it was not a road). The landscape was simply gorgeous.

And remember all this while we were still not sure the event was happening, it being too good to be true.

Only moment of concern was meeting a couple of bikers who were returning and warned us of the "event” being a hoax. We were twenty kilometers away and although we got concerned, we decided to keep going.

It got dark and by the time we hit dhanaulti and we were greeted by a quiet town, no where near the images of the "woodstock" we expected. By the time we figured out lodging (tents were available, but we figured it was too cold so took a hotel), found andiji's restaurant, got to the venue was (yes it was happening!); it was already 8 and dark.

Paid 500 rupees (the best 500 I've ever spent) and got passes, which were pink ribbons tied by Andy’s Australian girlfriend on the wrists.

The venue was a surreal clearing in a pine forest lit be psychedelic lights. No huge stage, just a 4 feet high arrangement. The sound "Marshall", yes it sounded that good!

A few warm up performances till Advaita came on (advaita.net) and we were just awestruck. Deep Indian vocals, traditional Indian instruments played in harmony with western instruments, just took the definition of creativity to a new high.

Imagine cold that made the guitarists hand shiver, yet the keep playing on, and when we did call it a day it was way past midnight, we headed to the hotel starry eyed after a day where unprecedented experiences had left our minds dazzled.

Next day we got up to a sunny winter day and spoiled ourselves to a coffee in the lawn with the sun rising over the mountains. Time stood still. We were challenged to scale a mountain by a local guide, and the day had already been planned.

So we put on our hiking shoes, and started on a 2 hour trek to the top of the highest peak in that area. Huffing and puffing and a lot of beautiful pictures later, we managed to scale the peak, and got a taste of what Hillary and Norgay must have experienced. I have watched numerous documentaries about scaling mountains and have always love the view from the top, but nothing comes close to experiencing it first hand. Freedom got a new definition, and it is liberating in a way to be able to stand atop a mountain and be able to see in all directions as far as you can see, mountains, valleys, forests, serpentine roads cutting through the landscapes, and elevation that gets the adrenaline pumping.

We returned not because we wanted to, but we heard faint sounds of bass coming from the valley below. Day two was on!

Reached back and were greeted to Parikrama live! It was a wonderful performances, and their rendition of covers from led zep, coldplay et al, and the original (but it rained ) were all well played. Truly the best band in India. What followed was a heavy performance by the winners of MTV rock Idols-Prestorika, and moksha.

It was fun watching locals getting high on rock, although I am sure it made no sense to them, but the energy of the place sure got to them.

Returned to the lodging late night, and were treated to warm paranthas by the firewood, god bless the cook who gave us food so late. Next day we heard orange street had were playing. Went to catch some breakfast and met he band on the roof of Andiji’s restaurant, sunbathing and all.

But real life has a funny way of pervading all bliss. Pressing issues at home forced us to leave that day without witnessing that day’s performances. But as luck would have it, on the way back we halted at a dhaba and were lucky to meet the ban members from Silk route enjoying Skyy and talking about music. How often do you get to share a drink with your favorite band in the middle of nowhere and talk about your favorite topic-music.

The heady feeling is anything but gone, and as I write about it six months after it took place, I realize I have blown the prescribed limit of description to smithereens, I still feel I have left out so much. It just was a trip beyond what words could ever describe!

Will those days return

I am allowing myself to feel a little miserable, but i am mising all the FUN I had at home. The followin pic says it all. Hope the current cycle comes full circle and the fun filled activities of the WWF(weekend warrior fun(d)) return to the heady days of the yore.

Underwear Goes Inside The Pants

Why is marijuana not legal? Why is marijuana not legal?
It's a natural plant that grows in the dirt.
Do you know what's not natural?
80 year old dudes with hard-ons. That's not natural.
But we got pills for that.
We're dedicating all our medical resources to keeping the old guys erect,
but we're putting people in jail for something that grows in the dirt?

You know we have more prescription drugs now.
Every commercial that comes on TV is a prescription drug ad.
I can't watch TV for four minutes without thinking I have five serious diseases.
Like: "Do you ever wake up tired in the morning?"
Oh my god I have this, write this down. Whatever it is, I have it.
Half the time I don't even know what the commercial is:
people running in fields or flying kites or swimming in the ocean.
I'm like that is the greatest disease ever. How do you get that?
That disease comes with a hot chick and a puppy.

The schools now: It is all about self-esteem in the schools now.
Build the kids' self-esteem, make them feel good about themselves.
If everybody grows up with high self-esteem, who is going to dance in our strip clubs?
What's going to happen to our porno industry?
These women don't just grown on trees.
It takes lots of drunk dads missing dance recitals before you decide to blow a goat on the internet for fifty bucks.
And if that disappears, where does that leave me on a Friday night with my new high speed connection?

Masterminds are another word that comes up all the time.
You keep hearing about these terrorists masterminds that get killed in the middle east.
Terrorists masterminds.
Mastermind is sort of a lofty way to describe what these guys do, don't you think?
They're not masterminds.
"OK, you take bomb, right? And you put in your backpack. And you get on bus and you blow yourself up. Alright?"
"Why do I have to blow myself up? Why can't I just:"
"Who's the fucking mastermind here? Me or you?"

Americans, let's face it: We've been a spoiled country for a long time.
Do you know what the number one health risk in America is?
Obesity. They say we're in the middle of an obesity epidemic.
An epidemic like it is polio. Like we'll be telling our grand kids about it one day.
The Great Obesity Epidemic of 2004.
"How'd you get through it grandpa?"
"Oh, it was horrible Johnny, there was cheesecake and pork chops everywhere."

Nobody knows why were getting fatter? Look at our lifestyle.
I'll sit at a drive thru.
I'll sit there behind fifteen other cars instead of getting up to make the eight foot walk to the totally empty counter.
Everything is mega meal, super sized. Want biggie fries, super sized, want to go large.
You want to have thirty burgers for a nickel you fat mother fucker. There's room in the back. Take it!
Want a 55 gallon drum of Coke with that? It's only three more cents.

Sometimes you have to suffer a little bit in your youth to motivate yourself to succeed in later life.
Do you think if Bill Gates got laid in high school, do you think there'd be a Microsoft?
Of course not.
You got to spend a long time in your own locker with your underwear shoved up your ass before you start to think,
"You'll see. I'm going to take of the world of computers! I'll show them."

We're in one of the richest countries in the world,
but the minimum wage is lower than it was thirty five years ago.
There are homeless people everywhere.
This homeless guy asked me for money the other day.
I was about to give it to him and then I thought he was going to use it on drugs or alcohol.
And then I thought, that's what I'm going to use it on.
Why am I judging this poor bastard.
People love to judge homeless guys. Like if you give them money they're just going to waste it.
Well, he lives in a box, what do you want him to do? Save it up and buy a wall unit?
Take a little run to the store for a throw rug and a CD rack? He's homeless.
I walked behind this guy the other day.
A homeless guy asked him for money.
He looks right at the homeless guy and says why don't you go get a job you bum.
People always say that to homeless guys like it is so easy.
This homeless guy was wearing his underwear outside his pants.
Outside his pants. I'm guessing his resume isn't all up to date.
I'm predicting some problems during the interview process.
I'm pretty sure even McDonalds has a "underwear goes inside the pants" policy.
Not that they enforce it really strictly, but technically I'm sure it is on the bo

Copyleft, Everdated, All Rights Detoured

Audiophile speaks out

For a long time Ive trying to get together a list of my favorite music, Albums i can listen to as a whole. And I realised how hard it is today to like an entire album, such an mp3 generation we have become.

If you think i ve missed out any, please let me know, and also feel free to get tagged :P.

Pink Floyd- the Division Bell

Pink Floyd- The wall

Pink Floyd- Dark Side of the moon

Pink Floyd –Pulse

Incubus- Morning Glory

Creed- Human Clay

Creed-Weathered

Creed – My Own Prison

The Doors- Greatest Hits

Depeche Mode- Playing an Angel

Coldplay- Parachutes

ColdPlay- X and Y

Chris Issak- San Francisco Days

James Blunt- Back To Bedlam

Nirvana-MTV Unplugged

Moby-Play

MatchBox Twenty-More than You Think You Are

MatchBox Twenty - Mad Season

U2- The Joshua Tree

U2- Achtung Baby

U2-All That you cant leave behind

U2- How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb

Strings- Duur

Norah Jones-Come Away With Me

John Mayer- Room for Squares

CBR touces 325 On Autobahn

I love this video so much , I had to put it here,

Its a CBR driven by a german bike journalist, and it reaches 325 km/hr . Worth noting is the accelaration, the gear changes and the rpm that is maintained. Trust me its something else.

You will be amazed, and it probably is one of my favourite all time videos, something i watch whenever I am missing the adrenaline.




If the above does not work try here.
Leave a comment and tell me if you liked it?"This is a shoutout to the female demography who visit this blog"

Week END!

I am really tempted, and so I will let in to it..

My seriously indulgent weekend, almost spilling into the week was well a heady cocktail of salsa, party, alcohol, women, late night coffee's in a 7 star, excellent loud rock music and beers in a loud club, a very intense movie(crash), a tall glass of cold coffee at 2 am, discussion on gamedesign and how i almost switched careers, a long walk on an empty road with female company, the latest issue of autocar, waking up in someone else's bed(do not make a sexual connotation here), 2 g's on a single meal, bullet rides, the best goddamm club sandwich ever, heady cocktails, south american male bravado, business proposals...... will update more as soon as I recall.

P.S. Its spring and i should be in germany.

Also, test how geeky are you?

Airtel.IN

Below is a Snapshot of my Phone Usage :p




Some more revealing stats

Total Days 29
STD calls 200

Pretty clear I am missing home a little too much, say what?

Mamma I'm Coming Home

Hey Guys, Here's a beauty, I know not one of the best shots, but it represents all I mean when I say I MISS HOME

My Favorite Dirty Joke

George Takes Up Golf(Apologies to ET)

My wife said to me, "George, it's about time you learned to play
golf. You know, that's the game where you chase a ball all over the
county when you're too old to chase women."

So I went to see Jones and asked him if he could teach me how to
play. He said, "Sure, you've got balls haven't you?"

I said, "Yes, but sometimes on cold mornings they're kinda' hard to
find".

"Bring them to the club house tomorrow," he said, "and we'll tee
off."

"What's 'tee off"?" I asked.

He said, "It's a golf term, and we have to 'tee off' in front of
the club house."

"Not for me, you can 'tee off' there if you want to, but I'll 'tee
off' behind the barn somewhere."

"No no," he said, "a tee is a little thing about the size of your
little finger."

I said, "Yes, I've got one of those".

"Well," he said, "you stick it in the ground and stick your ball on
top of it".

I asked, "Do you play golf sitting down? I always thought you
stood up and walked around."

"You do!" he said. "You're standing up when you put your ball on
the tee". Well folks, I thought that was stretching things a little
bit too far, and I said so.

He said, "You've got a bag haven't you?"

"Sure!" I said.

He asked, "Can't you open the bag and take one out?"

I said, "I suppose I could, but damned if I was going to!" He
asked if I didn't have a zipper on my bag, but I told him, "No, I had
the old fashioned type". Then he asked me if I knew how to hold my
club. Well, I told him that after fifty years I should have *some*
sort of an idea!

He said, "You take your club in both hands". (Folks, I knew right
then and there that he didn't know what he was talking about.) Then
he said, "You swing it over your shoulder!"

"No no, that's not me," I said, "that's my brother you're talking
about".

He asked me, "How do you hold your club?"

I said, "In two fingers." He said that wasn't right and got behind
me, and told me to bend over and he would show me how. He couldn't
catch me there because I didn't put four years in the Navy for
nothing!

He said, "You hit the ball with your club, and it will soar and
soar". I said I could well imagine! Then he said, "And when you're
on the green..."

"What's a green?" I asked.

"That's where the hole is," he said.

"Sure you're not color blind?" I asked.

"No!" he said. "Then you take your putter..."

"What's a putter?" I asked. He said that was the smallest club
made.

"Well then," I said, "that's what I've got, a putter!"

"...and with it," he said, "you put your ball in the hole".

"You mean the putter." I corrected.
He said, "The ball! The hole isn't big enough for the putter.
Then after you make the first hole you go on to the next seventeen."

He wasn't talking to me. After two holes I'm shot to hell.
"You mean", he said, "you can't make eighteen holes in one day?"

"Hell no," I says, "it takes me eighteen days to make *one* hole!
Besides, how do I know when I'm at the eighteenth hole?" He said,
"The flag will say so."

That would be just my luck, so I said to HELL with golf.

Back Masking

There's this kool website I found:

Remember those things you heard about stairway to heaven being an incantation to satan:

Led ZEP

" If there's a bustle in your hegderow....."
" Oh here's to my sweet satan..."

Queen:

"Another One Bites the Dust"

"Its Fun to Smoke Marijuana"

Brittany Spears

"With you I lose My Mind"

"Sleep With me , I am not too young"

Check it out, Its Hilarious!

The Color Of Spring

So, another spring is here, another CEBIT has gone by, and another quarter is about to end. Ok I am kidding about the last one.

Some Random thoughts:

• No colors in hyderabad, and the daily grind does not even remind you that the Sky is blue, the fields are yellow, the flowers are full blossom or that the trees back home look beautiful.
• IS life all about chasing the dream, better job, more money, better work station ;P, Bigger Plasma Screen, latest Hand Held/Ipod, Bigger Car/House, Beautiful GF/Wifey, more savings, safer future
• Why am I paying 30 % freakin tax?, not to mention 6% FBT(Frings benefit tax: I learnt that today)
• I heard I will have to pay extra everytime I use an ATM?
  
• Is "Wrap my words around you" a good thing to say :P
  
• Tidy Riddance, eh?
  
• Are people instinctly self centred, or is it a virtue/vice?, I mean is it human nature?
• Is Navjot a POTHEAD?
• Is Airdeccan a SCAM, all their flights are delayed by 2-8 hours.
• Is blogger, gmail, orkut, google News, and everything else " free" a detailed scheme to create a detail of all users' online habits, surfing preferences and network and their preferences in a bid to push targeted advertising, so we suckers are compelled to buy everything we DO NOT need
• Is an MBA a 2 year vacation where u spend good money to watch movies, listen to music, booze, smoke/weed, have a ball of a time and then get paid double of what you were getting in when you joined?
• Are we a country waiting to explode with its SME's.
• Ignore no. 8
  

Cheers, Smacznego, Skoal!

Borrowed Expression

To see you when I wake up
Is a gift I didn't think could be real.
To know that you feel the same as I do
Is a three-fold, Utopian dream.

You do something to me that I can't explain.
So would I be out of line if I said "I miss you"?

I see your picture.
I smell your skin on
The empty pillow next to mine, everytime I close my eyes.
You have only been gone three months ,
But already I'm wasting away.

I know I'll see you again
Whether far or soon.
But I need you to know that I care,
And I miss you.

Kool Video

They made a video out of flintstones. Check it out!!!
http://youtube.com/watch?v=49IDp76kjPw

Ganne Mitthe

Among the activities we do, including Media Planning and Buying , SEM Planning etc, I also get time to chew on sugarcanes. Sugarcanes and Online marketing, well its definitely extremes, if you ask me.

Ipod Hi Fi

Another commodity product, or a work of art.

Definitely on the wish list for me; Check it out on Apple.com

And for those who want to, my birthday is around the corner people.